DVD

Average customer rating:

Bad
Aussie Park Boyz
don't waste your time
Well, it seemed to start out good . . .
Great fight scenes

Aussie Park Boyz
Starring: Aussie Park Boyz
Manufacturer: Allumination
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Description

Long-simmering hatred and racial tensions explode into over-the-top violence and savagery as multi-ethnic gangs engage in brutal fights for money, power and vengeance. The martial-arts mayhem is nonstop as director/writer/star Nunzio D.G. La Bianca takes his adrenaline-drenched gangster film to a level beyond such Australian ultra-violent classics as Romper Stomper and Once Were Warriors.

Customer Reviews:

Bad.......2006-05-18

I remember taking 6th grade science at a deceptively straight-laced charter school. The teacher was very nice and knowledgeable, which is why one of the few things I remember from 6th grade was hypothermia. For a week or so we dove into that subject and studied it from every possible angle. One day our teacher treated us to an educational video, and when you're 11 years old, it's always a blast to watch a movie, no matter how dumb or self-righteous it is. The video was short, the production values were laughable, the music was cheesy, and the acting had "amateur" stamped all over it. However, it was quite enjoyable, and after class all of my friends and I stood around and ripped on that movie so bad, but deep down we all loved it because it had the redeeming quality of being the butt of so many jokes.

That educational video is Oscar-material compared to "Aussie Park Boyz". You never may have heard of this award-winning (!!) septic bomb, and for good reason. A friend lent it to me for the weekend and I was forewarned of the shoddiness I would encounter. Boy did I ever underestimate that warning. "Aussie Park Boyz" has to be THE worst movie of the 21st century...even worse than "Gili". It's an obscure B-movie that tries to thrive off of its self-importance and by the end makes you wish you had a gun nearby so you could empty a round into the television screen or better yet, your own head if the music score was too horrible to ignore long after the disc has been ejected from your player.

Here's the story: a gang of Australian hooligans who wear tight black clothes (how inventive!) tries to gain the upperhand in an urban slum that's incidentally crawling with so many multi-ethnic gangs you quickly wonder why they're in the same country, not to mention the same district. The leader of our intrepid gang is played by none other than the writer and director of our steaming corn log, Nunzio La Bianca, and his right-hand man, Joe Murabito, who is also the co-producer. These guys mug for the camera so much that it's almost impossible to parody, and when you're forced to stare at a guy's quivering lips and bulging eyeballs for more than an hour, you're gonna go insane. Anyway, these Australian chodes start fights, get into fights, get into trouble, get framed, and get beat. The end. With a premise that simple, you'd think the movie couldn't be that much of a bother right? Wrong. Everything that could've gone wrong with this movie did in fact go wrong, but the worst part is that it takes its time in showing you all the hows and whys (think Chinese water torture). The directing? Terrible. How terrible? Watch the opening sequence all the way through to the last one. Why? Because you're treated to such boring scenes like the gang eating food, working out, staring at their opponents and walking. The music? Terrible. How terrible? Listen to it for an hour and a half. Why? Because it sounds like a dental drill being pressed against an exposed root (without novocaine I might add). The list can go on forever.

The latter half of "APB" is undoubtedly the icing on the cake. Remember "The Warriors"? Yeah, that movie directed by a little someone by the name of Walter Hill? Watch it condensed into 15 minutes. There's a climactic string of fight sequences towards the end where the Aussie gang squares off against a hockey-mask gang, an Asian gang, a skinhead gang, an Irish gang, and a Maouri gang. I don't even think that was all they fought, but that's as much as I can remember. The cheesy gore effects reach astounding heights when the movie pulls "The Wild Bunch" out of its top hat and gives us an Angel-esq death scene complete with...tobasco sauce trickling from a nonexistant gash in someone's throat. In retrospect I think they must've used up a few bottles of tobasco and ketchup in order to make the "compellingly realistic" violence come to life as it did in this movie as a whole.

It has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. You can't necessarily laugh at it, but you certainly can't hone in on one thing to appreciate. It's just awful. It makes me think of all the tragic disasters we have witnessed and endured in the last couple of years. We had no chance of preventing them, but in many ways they'll leave a scar yet to be faded by time. 9-11. The tsunami. Hurricane Katrina. AUSSIE PARK BOYZ 2. God help us all.

Aussie Park Boyz.......2005-09-03

Great ACTION movie. Acting is weak, and also storyline, but fight scenes are awesome and make the movie great. If you enjoyed the Warriors then you'll enjoy this movie, with more fights!!!

don't waste your time.......2005-08-12

I was suckered into renting this amateurish attempt at a remake of The Warriors by the Maori thug on the cover and a reference to Once Were Warriors, which was a great film. This wasn't even palatable on a it's-so-bad-it's-good level.
One of the worst films I've ever seen.

Well, it seemed to start out good . . ........2005-08-07

This had the potential to be a 5-star movie, but halfway through the scriptwriter apparently ran out of original ideas and copied that classic gang movie from the 70's -- "The Warriors" -- nearly verbatim, scene for scene . . . such blatent plagiarism is inexcusable.

Direction, photography, casting, and acting were all above average -- and the fight choreography was very good (although the later fight scenes devolved into cartoonishly unrealistic silliness).

There are a number of continuity errors, the idea of masked gangs is just stupid, and the whole premise of professional criminals attempting such a ridiculous set-up (while remaining anonymous) when they could've just left the tickets where they found 'em and simply waited in ambush with shotguns is borderline retarded.

Again, with competant scriptwriting, this could've been a good movie.

Great fight scenes.......2005-08-03

Great fight scenes- one after the other- realistic fights done better than most big budget hollywood movies.

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